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Monthly Archives: February 2020

Celebration of Life – with a PARTY!

To make it a successful event, plan the Celebration of Life as you would a party, but make it the party of a lifetime. You may wish to organise this with friends and loved ones.

Either way use this checklist to make your event a celebration of your life.

• Food: select samples of your favourite cuisine, your special dishes;

• Drink: provide your favourite wines and beers and maybe sparkling wine for a toast;

• Favourite Pastimes: have on display things such as golf clubs, tennis racket, embroidery, photographs of you enjoying your hobbies;

• Achievements: have on display certificates, press cuttings and items you are proud of;

• Messages: write a brief speech at which you give a short message to the most important people in your life;

• Video: ask (or employ) someone to make a video of the party, and consider storing it so others can see it in the future.

On the day of the event have visitors sign a guest book and encourage them to leave positive messages.  A slideshow presentation is appropriate, highlighting memories and accomplishments.  Encourage people to share funny and uplifting stories and to bring photographs or other memorabilia to share.  Remind people that this is not meant to be sombre as a funeral would be, so the dress code does not need to be restricted to the traditional funeral black.

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What is a Celebration of Life?

When someone is born we celebrate their entrance into our world and our lives.  We feast and celebrate when a child is born.  We celebrate each year that passes with birthday parties, marking the annual ceremony of when someone’s life began.  Why should the end of life be any different, why focus on the negative aspect of a person leaving us when we should look back and celebrate all that they have accomplished?

Celebrations of Life are becoming popular, often organised by hospices to increase the quality of life for the dying patient and to give support to the family.

They are also being organised by individuals who want to be present, and indeed to be the centre of attention, at the last celebration of their lives.  It is a time to honour and appreciate the living. 

They want to enjoy their own funeral and the opportunity it gives them to see for the last time their friends, relatives, former colleagues, neighbours, team mates and those whose lives have touched theirs.

You can acknowledge important relationships, recount stories, give and receive comfort, and answer questions. You can smell the flowers, hear the eulogy, readings, prayers, and music. You can speak of your own life and legacy, about what mattered to you and motivated or inspired you over your lifetime, and about what your relationships have meant to you. You can convey hopes, dreams, and last wishes and share in the tears and in the laughter.

Having a Celebration of Life doesn’t mean there can’t be a traditional funeral after death. It simply means that there is a ceremony with the person before they are gone, and they get to enjoy life with those they love before they must go, and hopefully pass with renewed good memories and the feeling that they’ve made peace with their life, peace with those in their life, and peace with their eventual death.

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June and Tom Renewal of Vows – 40 years

June and Tom celebrated their Renewal of Vows after 40 years together!  Their ceremony was held in their garden and when it rained – we all ran into their gorgeous large sun room.  They both told stories of how they met and first impressions of each other, which made everyone laugh!

Their children and grandchildren made a Circle of Blessing around the couple and, as each said a few words, passed June and Tom’s wedding rings around the ribbons.

We celebrated with Champagne and afternoon tea.  Perfect!

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Ceremonies and Children

When you decide to celebrate your love in a Wedding Ceremony or Renewal of Vows, include your children as they are such a big part of you both.  They can be Ring Bearers, place flowers in a vase, light a candle, join in a Sand Ceremony and Hand Fasting ceremony and, of course hand out the chocolates for the Chocolate Ritual!  They will remember your day for the rest of their lives.

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Renewal of Vows

Whether you have been together for one year, 35 years or even 75 years!  A Renewal or Vows ceremony reaffirms that your relationship has grown and means more to you than ever before and you will grow even closer in the future.   

A marriage can be tough but is cherishing and forgiving, settling for less than perfection, and compromising over the daily irritations in order to become stronger over time.  

A husband and wife can have conversations without saying a single word and they fall in love many times……always with the same person.

Your ceremony can include: walking down an aisle, giving and blessing of rings, exchanging of vows, lighting of candles, poetry, even religious or spiritual words. Symbolic Rituals to unite you could include Rose Ceremony, Sand Ceremony, Hand Fasting and Jumping the Broom, often coupes choose all of these!  I have even written Cocktail Rituals and Chocolate Ceremonies to make the wedding as personal and unique as you are.  Part of the fun is choosing which ones suit you the best! 

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Giving and Receiving of Rings

Giving and receiving of rings is one of the many ceremonies you can include in your Wedding or Renewal of Vows.

It is a token of your love and, in the presence of your family and friends, you promise to love each other unconditionally, to support each other in your dreams and ambitions and to honour and respect each other, to laugh and cry together and to cherish your relationship always.

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Flower Ceremonies – Wedding

Flower Ceremonies bring your family and friends together as they place a flower each into the vase.

“I would now like to ask everyone who is holding an orange rose to come forward and place them into this vase.  An Orange rose is a symbol of enthusiasm, desire and excitement and are the elements that they would like to bring to their marriage.  The roses are placed in the vase along with all of your hopes, best wishes and love for them both”.

You then place your flowers in the vase as a symbol of your unity with your new families.

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Adoption and Naming Ceremony

One of the most exciting events in a family’s life is the arrival of a new baby or child, whether by birth, adoption or joining of families and many of us would like to celebrate this occasion in a memorable and special way.

As an alternative to a Christening, a Naming Ceremony brings your family and friends together to acknowledge and introduce your child’s chosen name and to publicly declare your commitment to nurture and care for your child. It is wonderful to be able to declare your hopes and aspirations for the child’s future in a truly personal ceremony.

It is also the perfect solution when the parents belong to different faiths. The ceremony can have no religious content or include something of each faith to represent the values of both parents.

One family write to me recently:

Thank you so much for your beautiful ceremony to welcome Sam into our lives.  We adopted him at two years old and wanted to celebrate the uniting of our families after a period of heartbreak.  You made the day very special, thank you.

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Naming Ceremony for twins

I recently created and performed a Naming ceremony for gorgeous twins – one boy and one girl.

As they had held hands since they were born, I also performed a Hand Fasting ceremony using cords

Orange for good luck and good fortune, yellow for learning and knowledge and green for balance and peace.  All of these elements that their parents would like to bring to their children’s lives.

I received a beautiful thank you letter:

I just wanted to write to say thank you so much. The ceremony was so perfect and exactly what I had imagined. There were some lovely comments from the guests about the feel of the day, and the lovely words that made the naming really special. People even approved of the length!! 

Seriously though, you really made it feel very individual and spiritual, without feeling contrived or forced. I now have fantastic memories! Thank you so much!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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